I know that I can’t always get it right. I know I am gonna mess up, but it’s just that when I do. I get so caught up in it which makes me so sad. I wish I would never, but the hard truth is that I need to rely more on God for my difference. I would be lying if I told you that I haven’t been trying to do things my way. You see the things I suffer with is common for many people and some might say its so easy to get over. I can’t explain it, but I know it is a serious problem.
I am still having sex and with that bring out the need to lie. I am so disappointed in myself. I am told that this will happen, but I don’t want it to happen. I don’t know what to do.
I experience so much guilt about it and I will get to a point where I feel forgiven and then something horrible happens. I know my breakthrough is near. It is said the closer you are to your breakthrough the more trials you will encounter.
For anyone out there going through the same thing or something similar I want you to know that relying on God is the only way. I know that now, in fact, I have always known that, but I just thought that I could help to speed the process up.